A year of firsts...one year on.

Saying a final goodbye to a loved one is never easy, saying goodbye to a beloved Mother is one of the hardest things anyone ever does – last year on October 15^th we said a final goodbye to our wonderful mother.

Life is a journey, with a start and a finish: for some people, it's a short journey and for some, much longer.  For Mum, who was born in 1920 it was a reasonably long journey but on the evening of October 15^th  2012, it was almost over.   

I looked at Mum's broken body and I knew that we shouldn't begrudge the fact that she was leaving us; every breath was now a struggle, each movement was painful.  She had slipped into a coma that afternoon without any fuss and without us realising that we would never get to speak to her again.

I didn't realise dying was such hard work but now I've watched my Father and my Mother die and it seems their bodies become smaller and deflate towards the end.  How is it that these people, so big and strong when we are small can seem so small and frail as they age - truly getting old is only for the brave and my Mum was a brave woman.

Mum lived her life as a lesson in true humility; she raised a family of seven children; all of whom are blessed for having had her as their Mother.  She maintained strong friendships throughout her life and worked in her community for others. In the last few years, Mum's world contracted and this was a great hardship for her.  My sister did a wonderful job of making sure that Mum was socially and physically well cared for but Mum missed the independence she once had and tried hard to fight these changes.

Mum’s life was in Perth and my life is in Darwin and it is a busy one; owning a small business is challenging, owning one in the motor industry since the GFC has been especially so.  I wish now I had seen more of Mum but it is always easy to say 'what if' but the reality is that you have to play the hand you're dealt...I learnt that lesson from my Mum.  

There is a lovely poem, often quoted at funerals and written a long time ago by Canon Henry Scott-Holland which I find deeply moving and comforting.

Death is nothing at all I have only slipped away into the next room
I am I, and you are you, whatever we were to each other 
That we are still call me by my old familiar name
Speak to me in the easy way you alway used
Put no difference into your tone 
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
Laugh as we alway laughed at the little jokes we always enjoyed together
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was
Let it be spoken without effort
Without the ghost of a shadow in it
Life means all that it ever meant 
It is the same as it ever was
There is absolute unbroken continuity
What is death but a negligible accident?
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you for an interval somewhere very near
Just around the corner
All is well.
Nothing is past; nothing is lost
One brief moment and all will be as it was before

How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!