With all due respect !!!

Have you ever been in a meeting and had a colleague use the phrase -'with all due respect'.  In my experience, this usually means that they are about to treat you with utter disrespect and they are quite probably about to pour complete derision onto whatever opinion you have just voiced.  The first time it happened  I was completely unprepared and even offended by their scorn - but live and learn and I now realise that it is a phrase that can be a used when dealing with a difficult person; not that I was ever difficult of course!  

Sometimes in a meeting situation, we have opinions and even personal agendas which may be at odds with the normal culture of the meeting.  I am a woman and sometimes that fact alone meant that I've held different views or opinions than the rest of my male colleagues, regardless, if you really what to give a polite put down - "With all due respect" is just the way to do it.

My mother always told me...You get more flies with honey than withvinegar".

Have you ever read the little book by Robert Fulghum, "All I really need to know I learned in Kindergarten"? This amazing book illustrates so beautifully that if we all remember the caring and sharing lessons that we learnt as children we would work co-operatively together, treat others with respect and walk softly upon the earth.  Sounds easy, doesn't it?  When I was little we learnt to say please and thank you as soon as we could talk and I went on to teach this to my children. I'm pleased to say they have gone on to teach it to theirs...however, it seems sometimes that we have forgotten these lessons.

In today's retail environment it is often hard to see that the lessons learnt in Kindergarten have been retained.  

My staff are constantly being surveyed about the level of customer service they provide and for the most part, the results show that they provide excellent service. However, sometimes from my office I hear customers getting really rude at the counter and even swearing at them. Customer service staff are always in a no-win situation - they try hard to calm customers down, and explain why we may be unable to fulfil everyone's wish list but unfortunately no matter how wonderful your customer service training is, how high your company standards and how customer-focused your company culture, not every transaction goes as smoothly as everyone would like.  Sometimes this can be that you are unable to fulfil the customers' wishes and sometimes price may be an issue. Usually, this is completely out of the control of the customer-facing staff and it is unreasonable to have a temper tantrum at the counter.  So take a breathe and remember - what would you Mother have said!!!

Reflections on family & friends.

A friend of mine once told me that she kept a journal by the side of her bed to jot down the funny things her kids had said that day; tragically she lost her son a couple of years ago through suicide, I sometimes wonder if those journals give her some comfort now.

I also remember another wise friend telling me when I was a new mother of two great kids.  "Kids are either a pain in the neck or a lump in the throat".  Now, as the mother of two grown children and the grandmother of a beautiful 3-year-old, I remember this and reflect on how right she was.  No love is stronger, I will always be their greatest supporter and probably will always be blind to their faults, they are truly wonderful people and their father and I love them dearly.

Over the years my children have given me my greatest highs and also my most trying and soul searching moments.  I reflected on this some time ago at the wedding of the daughter of my very best friend.  It was truly one of the nicest weddings that I have ever attended, everything ran like clockwork...the bride and my friend, (her mother) would have demanded nothing less and they were truly rewarded for all of their hard work with a day to remember and a special day for all of their guests.  

The wedding also gave me a chance to see a lot of old friends, many of whom I hadn't seen for years, and it was great to catch up with them and with many of their now grown-up beautiful children.  

Twenty or so years ago we all had small kids, now we are grandmothers and grandfathers and we have wrinkles and so much more life experience.  Really it doesn't get better than that...remember my other friend the one who only has her journals!

Life, God and whatever else you believe in has been very good to me and mine.

The words of my wise friend were also so true, my children have the ability to annoy me more than anyone else in the world but they also have the ability to break my heart and for my heart to break with each of their disappointments or setbacks.  Nothing is perfect but my life is good maybe even great and I try to remember that the only thing that really matters, is that I have family and friends who love me, so I am truly blessed.  I hope you are too.

Valentine's Day

I can still remember getting a Valentine's card when I was about 10 years old and still in primary school.  If you knew me well and knew about the illness I had in my late teens that knocked out huge parts of my memory, you'd realise that if I can still remember it, it must have been hugely important in my life....haha.

Each year the sale of flowers, greeting cards, chocolates and jewellery soars as lovers give tangible symbols of their affection to their significant others. Apparently, in more recent years there has been fewer cards and more text messages!  And although I think that seems really sad, I have a confession to admit too, my husband and I texted our mutual Valentine's Day wishes to each other this morning. Thank goodness for emoticons and stickers. :)

My Valentine's Day wish to everyone - I hope that you have someone in your life that makes it special and that you get to spend time with that person today.  Enjoy.

Dancing in the Rain

There is a great quote by Vivian Green that you often see on inspiration wall art. Life isn't about waiting for the Storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain. 

If only we could remember this and really incorporate it into our lives - it is almost the Pollyanna answer to disappointments - bad day at work - oh well at least you have work.  Missed out of the promotion - oh well you will be more prepared for the next opportunity.  You see what I mean?

Maybe this is too simple but I do question the value of constantly waiting for things to change and not enjoying the wonderful things that are happening right now.  So, Carpe diem - Seize the Day and have a wonderful life.

Getting the balance right.

In the Australian Newspaper today there was an article that looked at the modern phenomenon of helicopter parenting or intensive parenting.  Apparently, recent research indicates that mothers today actually spend more time parenting than their mothers and grandmothers did.  This apparently holds true across all income and social groups.  Mothers are sacrificing their own leisure and even sleep time so as to increase the amount of time available to parent and it's not just mothers, fathers too are spending more time in active parenting than ever before.  So at a time with high rates of female workplace participation women are now spending even more time than ever before in child-centred parenting.

I remember when my children were small - approximately 20-25 years ago - the catchphrase was - 'quality time'.  Regardless of the amount of working time that parents spent away from their children and under a huge burden of guilt we would all hurry home and get out the educational toys and settle down for some quality time with our little ones.  This seems to have morphed into today's findings - parents, especially mothers spend more time parenting regardless of income, education or social background and the findings now suggest that this hothouse environment may be detrimental to our children and to families - more and more stress is being placed on young families and on small children.  

I always wondered what happened to all the time we gained through 'labour-saving devices' and the rise in the out-sourcing of the various household tasks, now we have the answer! More time is spent on active parenting in Australia than any other OECD country and this is more than when we had the old-fashioned male breadwinner/female home-maker family type. There is a word of caution however, the research seems to suggest that this leads to added stress on parents and children so perhaps this may not be the best investment of our time - maybe we should invest in more sandpits and less educational toys and let our children get dirty and learn by themselves through experimental play rather than organised activities like little gymnastics and ballet classes for toddlers - may be children would rediscover the wonder of their imaginations and parents might get a chance to put their feet up. Just a thought.

Letters from an Interested Mother – 2

Some of the things I say are worth listening too….I promise you.

It’s only now that I realise that the wise words my Mum and Dad tried to teach us were so, so true.  Isn't it funny how it takes a lifetime to realise that we have so much to learn?  My younger self thought I knew it all.  

My generation, my friends, my views, my beliefs  this was what I thought was important, we knew it all, we had cool clothes, cool music, new attitudes to the world, to food, to the environment – move over we knew it all.

I certainly have been blessed to have lived through some interesting times – the Women’s Movement, the end of the Cold War, the Germany Wall coming down, the end of the Vietnam War, the rise in the awareness of the fragility of our environment and the ever-increasing realisation that we are what we eat, and yes these were all important movements when I was a teenager.  

I've also seen the introduction of the personal computer, (my first came with 20MB (yes that’s right) of memory and used the DOS operating system).  Then the Internet, first with just a dial-up modem and now with talk of the NBN coming soon.  These changes have also changed the way we shop, socialise and interact.  Then there is the rise in social media, smartphones and the need to be electronically connected 24/7.

For my parents, the issues were bigger and believe me much more pressing – World War 2 for instance, my father was a pilot and was away from my mother for years.  I remember when my young niece questioned why they didn't keep in touch with the phone!  So much change and everything seems to be changing faster and faster, the challenge as you get older is to embrace the change and try to keep up.

There is a cute image doing the rounds on Facebook - this was childhood for a baby-boomer - that's probably me at the desk!

I just love lists.

Whenever my life becomes busy and messy - I turn to my old friend the "To-Do List".  I know I'm not alone in this little addiction - so much to do, so little time !!! 

First, hurry down to the local stationery store and enjoy browsing through the aisles of notebooks and diaries.  I mustn't forget that there's also the App Store calling - electronic To-Do Apps for my phone or my tablet - so many choices, firstly I'll have to make a list of what I need.  Nothing calms a situation as much as a crisp clean empty page - everything suddenly becomes manageable, break the tasks down into small steps and then you have the joy of ticking tasks off as you go along.

At the moment my life is busier than normal; we are in the process of selling our business and I'm dealing with the myriad of tasks that that involves.  Everything from organising contracts with lawyers to organising storage for all our business records and there are so many tasks in between.  I also have to be careful that these tasks all take place in the background as the business goes on trading and clearing stock and all the other day to day tasks that have taken up my attention for the last 13 years.  

Now my attention keeps drifting to what to do after the business changes hand and believe me it has already taken up several new notebooks - Places to Go, People to See, Things to Experience, Books to Read............... maybe my next business venture should be around stationery - I'll have to prepare a list of pros and cons.  hahaha