Reflections on family & friends.

A friend of mine once told me that she kept a journal by the side of her bed to jot down the funny things her kids had said that day; tragically she lost her son a couple of years ago through suicide, I sometimes wonder if those journals give her some comfort now.

I also remember another wise friend telling me when I was a new mother of two great kids.  "Kids are either a pain in the neck or a lump in the throat".  Now, as the mother of two grown children and the grandmother of a beautiful 3-year-old, I remember this and reflect on how right she was.  No love is stronger, I will always be their greatest supporter and probably will always be blind to their faults, they are truly wonderful people and their father and I love them dearly.

Over the years my children have given me my greatest highs and also my most trying and soul searching moments.  I reflected on this some time ago at the wedding of the daughter of my very best friend.  It was truly one of the nicest weddings that I have ever attended, everything ran like clockwork...the bride and my friend, (her mother) would have demanded nothing less and they were truly rewarded for all of their hard work with a day to remember and a special day for all of their guests.  

The wedding also gave me a chance to see a lot of old friends, many of whom I hadn't seen for years, and it was great to catch up with them and with many of their now grown-up beautiful children.  

Twenty or so years ago we all had small kids, now we are grandmothers and grandfathers and we have wrinkles and so much more life experience.  Really it doesn't get better than that...remember my other friend the one who only has her journals!

Life, God and whatever else you believe in has been very good to me and mine.

The words of my wise friend were also so true, my children have the ability to annoy me more than anyone else in the world but they also have the ability to break my heart and for my heart to break with each of their disappointments or setbacks.  Nothing is perfect but my life is good maybe even great and I try to remember that the only thing that really matters, is that I have family and friends who love me, so I am truly blessed.  I hope you are too.

Valentine's Day

I can still remember getting a Valentine's card when I was about 10 years old and still in primary school.  If you knew me well and knew about the illness I had in my late teens that knocked out huge parts of my memory, you'd realise that if I can still remember it, it must have been hugely important in my life....haha.

Each year the sale of flowers, greeting cards, chocolates and jewellery soars as lovers give tangible symbols of their affection to their significant others. Apparently, in more recent years there has been fewer cards and more text messages!  And although I think that seems really sad, I have a confession to admit too, my husband and I texted our mutual Valentine's Day wishes to each other this morning. Thank goodness for emoticons and stickers. :)

My Valentine's Day wish to everyone - I hope that you have someone in your life that makes it special and that you get to spend time with that person today.  Enjoy.

Dancing in the Rain

There is a great quote by Vivian Green that you often see on inspiration wall art. Life isn't about waiting for the Storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain. 

If only we could remember this and really incorporate it into our lives - it is almost the Pollyanna answer to disappointments - bad day at work - oh well at least you have work.  Missed out of the promotion - oh well you will be more prepared for the next opportunity.  You see what I mean?

Maybe this is too simple but I do question the value of constantly waiting for things to change and not enjoying the wonderful things that are happening right now.  So, Carpe diem - Seize the Day and have a wonderful life.

Getting the balance right.

In the Australian Newspaper today there was an article that looked at the modern phenomenon of helicopter parenting or intensive parenting.  Apparently, recent research indicates that mothers today actually spend more time parenting than their mothers and grandmothers did.  This apparently holds true across all income and social groups.  Mothers are sacrificing their own leisure and even sleep time so as to increase the amount of time available to parent and it's not just mothers, fathers too are spending more time in active parenting than ever before.  So at a time with high rates of female workplace participation women are now spending even more time than ever before in child-centred parenting.

I remember when my children were small - approximately 20-25 years ago - the catchphrase was - 'quality time'.  Regardless of the amount of working time that parents spent away from their children and under a huge burden of guilt we would all hurry home and get out the educational toys and settle down for some quality time with our little ones.  This seems to have morphed into today's findings - parents, especially mothers spend more time parenting regardless of income, education or social background and the findings now suggest that this hothouse environment may be detrimental to our children and to families - more and more stress is being placed on young families and on small children.  

I always wondered what happened to all the time we gained through 'labour-saving devices' and the rise in the out-sourcing of the various household tasks, now we have the answer! More time is spent on active parenting in Australia than any other OECD country and this is more than when we had the old-fashioned male breadwinner/female home-maker family type. There is a word of caution however, the research seems to suggest that this leads to added stress on parents and children so perhaps this may not be the best investment of our time - maybe we should invest in more sandpits and less educational toys and let our children get dirty and learn by themselves through experimental play rather than organised activities like little gymnastics and ballet classes for toddlers - may be children would rediscover the wonder of their imaginations and parents might get a chance to put their feet up. Just a thought.