Is it time to review the way we comment online.

I know this isn’t a new idea however the current noise around the many world events and local tragedies has forced me to put pen to paper – or in this modern age – fingers to keyboard!

It’s not new to comment on the way people comment on FB posts and other Social Media and online forums. But really, although the comments are sometimes warm, accepting and encouraging they are very often mean, nasty and even spiteful, so much more so than compared with the comments that people would dare to say in person?  

In Australia, this is so very different from the much-lauded ethos of a ‘fair go’.  Is this just the faceless nature of social media? If it is, then, we have a lot to answer for as we embrace all of these new mediums with little or no thought to the ways in which they are changing our social mores forever, impacting on the boundaries of acceptable and unacceptable behaviours and changing the way civilised people socialise and engage in debate.  

I am sometimes truly shocked to read the comments that people are prepared to make on social media, and they make them from their accounts which are often unsecured social profiles with an alarming amount of personal details – do they realise?

I’ve recently read an opinion piece written by Amy Carr in which she describes the abuse, she received after details of her action against a barber for discrimination became known – she claims that the abuse included rape & death threats!

Is Social Media changing society mores this much – last year we commemorated the 100^th anniversary of Armistice Day perhaps we should remember the way the world changed during two World Wars - people blindly followed hateful speech and behaviour.   Profound changes to societal norms followed and the defence forces, normal civilians and even children were all caught up. What followed, as we all know, were acts of barbaric cruelty, all committed in the name of allegiance to some power or demigod who preached ideology which supported these acts.  This type of environment allows sociopathic behaviours to be normalised and changes society forever.

Never has it been so important to truly know yourself and to have a strong moral compass. Principles should be stronger than circumstance, a conviction is not something that we change to suit the current moment.  Oprah Winfrey said, "Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not."  Well put – even when no one is watching – listen to your inner voice, don’t let it be drowned out by the loud modern world that surrounds us.  We can all be better than this – when a disaster strikes the evidence is all around.

We really need strong leaders, people who are guided by good and moral thinking, not self-interest and expediency – am I just a dreamer?  Maybe so but we certainly need to question the ideas and the sentiment around us, even the language being used.

 Ideology is a notion best left with the gods in heaven not practised by mere mortals here on earth.

Doing my small bit.

The adage: "May you live in interesting times" is a quote which is usually attributed as a Chinese curse.  When you review the literature, it doesn't appear that there is any basis for that, yet it certainly exemplifies the times we are living through.

For most of us, I pray that this is a 'once in a lifetime event', quickly and quietly, our way of life changed; maybe forever.  A virus had been detected,  then they realised how quickly it could spread and how disastrous the results could be.  We realised that the danger was not just for the patient but also because of the infection rate to the whole health system, which could buckle under the weight of new cases. 

Close contact was quickly identified as a significant infection risk. The warm connections we once shared when greeting friends and colleagues became a thing of the past, new ways to greet friends and social acquaintances had to be adopted.  Very quickly, governments in democratic, liberal nations enacted legislation and policies to limit personal freedom, liberty and movement.  Closing entertainments venues and events, closing big and small businesses, churches and schools.  Right-minded people weren't objecting they embraced the changes and looked for ways to make these new social and economic realities as meaningful and productive as possible.  Businesses looked for new ways to operate and to maintain relationships with customers. 
Governments looked for ways to soften the blow for individuals, families and businesses while maintaining their continued focus on health care and health care workers.  

A Herculean task.  As an Australian, I am incredibly grateful and pleased to see the results in our country, through our joint efforts, we are lowering the infection rate and flattening the curve.  My contribution to these tasks is just to stay at home and wash my hands – sounds easy!  Although this contribution seems so trite, it isn't; this is a deliberate action.   I have acknowledged the risk, and I know that I can't contribute to the tasks required. However, I can stay at home, minimise the risk to myself and my family  and do my small part in fighting this terrible virus.

For many people the new year is associated with making (and often breaking) resolutions. Let face it, each year our list of resolutions is usually a rehash of our previous years' failed resolutions. Be more active, lose weight, spend more time reading and less time on devices, spend more time with friends and loved ones - sound familiar.

Every year I used to prepare a list of New Year's Resolutions. Then, usually fairly early in the New Year, I would be beating myself up because I hadn't managed to keep my resolution. Give up Smoking; is one that comes to mind. Topmost on my Resolution Lists for about 10 years until finally about 12 years ago I successfully gave up! But that had nothing to do with resolutions and a lot to do with recurring bronchitis!

If you made a list this year and you're still sticking to it, then congratulations. If you made a list and you can't remember what was on it, or why, then perhaps next year make a list before the champagne corks start flying. :)

This year I watched a YouTuber suggest that rather than making a list of resolutions consider creating an 'Intentions Board'. I was really intrigued by this idea, and I decided to have a look at examples on the internet and to research Vision Boards and Intention Boards. I wanted to know what they should include and how to incorporate them into my life.

I have now decided to give it a try - this might be a better way, make visual reminders about what I want to achieve in the next chapter of my life. These will not necessarily be able to be squashed between Jan and Dec but looking ahead to the future. Looking at the things that will help me age gracefully, with excellent health, strength and vitality and looking towards tasks to be completed and dreams still to be realised. 

Well its a bit late but I've decided to try my hand at this and just discount the last fortnight as research time. So my next task is to find a way of showcasing my 'intentions' in a way that will help me make real changes in my daily life and bring about real changes that I will feel and enjoy.

Each year there has been a recurring theme to most of my resolutions, like many people I'd like to think that I am making the most of my time and living the best life possible. This also means taking the best care of the physical, emotional and spiritual parts of my life, so obviously, there will be intentions on my Board about health and wellness. Still, more than that, I want my Intention Board to showcase this next chapter of my life and display the opportunities and the tasks I need to focus on to live my best life.

Firstly, I'm going to find a way of preparing a virtual visualisation board - this way I can take it with me. For some people, a real-life board on the wall of their office or bedroom might be best. Still, for me, I think I'll see if there is an App to do the job or maybe use Pinterest to create a Board that captures all of my plans and hopes for the coming year. 

I will post a picture of my Board and let you know if it helps me to keep on track with my plans this year.

Its Jan 2020 and in Australia, you can't escape the news reporting of the horrendous bushfire that are destroying hectares of bushland, home, businesses and taking the lives of so many people as well as wreaking havoc on whole eco-systems.  Such tragic news, the public are united in their grief and amazing acts of generosity are being reported every day.  Celebrities, local, national and international businesses and ordinary people are digging deep to support the victims of these tragic events.  Australian firefighters (many of whom are volunteers) are being supported, not just with financial assistance, but many firefighters have travelled to Australia from overseas.  Truly when tragedy strikes you are able to see the good in mankind.  Ordinary people doing extraordinary things, first responders moving towards danger when every sense of self-preservation tells us to flee.

There was a recent tweet on Twitter where science host Kyle Hill posted a map of the bushfires compared to the size of the USA, many Americans had no idea how large Australia was and the extent of the fires.

I'm old enough to remember many other catastrophic fire events in Australia but not the severity of these current bushfires.  Time and again after these tragic events we have public inquiries into the cause and look for solutions to future proof our drought-prone country and time and again the results of these Inquiries and Royal Commissions seem to be ignored.  Just last week a farmer in Queensland was fined about $1,000,000 for making his fire breaks too wide - it beggars belief! 

In the meantime, hopefully, the rain that is being forecast for later this week gives some relief!  

Sometimes it's the things we say that have the power to hurt or heal the people that we love and care for and sometimes it's the things we forget to say!  Words left unspoken, chances which we let pass. Isn't it amazing how words can wound our souls so much? 

I've just spent time with a beautiful friend who always takes the time to verbalise her feelings and gives my soul positive affirmations which I value so much. I'm truly blessed to have people like this in my life. 

When my children were growing up, I tried so hard to be a positive force in their lives and to give thought to the words I spoke. I remember the teachings – words hurt if you are going to make a critical comment, make sure it is about behaviour, not the person. You are not bad, stupid or lazy. This type of behaviour is acceptable, its the behaviour, not the person that is at fault. 

I tried, but of course, I often got it wrong, I just hope that I succeeded enough of the time to give them strong powerful and confident souls strong enough to cope with the world today.  I try to forgive myself for the times I failed, and I promise to work harder in the future to be like my dear friend.

I remember hearing a song a while ago that used the parallel of the footprints we leave in the sand to the impact we have on the Earth and in the lives of people after we pass.  There are lots of songs, but the one that I really found moving was the version by Beyonce. 

My actions or inactions do have consequences, in big and little ways we all affect the people around us, our communities, our friends and families and our partners. I hope that when my life is finished, the people who celebrate it at my funeral will agree. 

 That I gave my all, did my best, brought someone some happiness and that I left this world a little better just because I was here.

Caught up in the latest Fad!

Have you ever found a new interest and thought it was just you? Then you find that without realising it you had stumbled onto the latest fad. For me, the most recent example was triggered by the approach of a birthday. While 60 may be the new 50, it still comes as a shock to me that I've arrived at this part of my life. Sometimes the aches and pains are reminders enough, but then I catch a glimpse of my reflection in a mirror or in an adjacent window, and I'm shocked! That's not the way I feel inside.  This body and face I show to the world are alien to me.

Recently I decided to take a hard look at my face and skin and decided that it was definitely letting the side down. Years of living in the tropics had taken the toll on the condition and texture of my skin. Anxious to make changes and in an attempt to turn back time, I turned to Google – as you do! So I googled – 'skincare for mature skin' of course YouTube was full of videos on the subject. After lots of time spent watching bad videos, I finally found several excellent vloggers and started binging on their channels. Sali Hughes was one of the first I found that made sense to me, and she seemed knowledgeable and qualified to give advice. In one of Sali's videos, she mentioned a Skin Analysis website maintained by Olay – so of course, you know I checked it out. With fingers crossed, I put my details in, took the selfie and waited for the analysis to return a skin age. The results were awful; my skin was judged 12 years older than my chronological age! So back I went to YouTube in search of answers and a possible solution. I binged on videos late into the night; not knowing then that the blue light from my iPad was doing further damage to my skin. I bought lotions and serums, increased my knowledge about active ingredients and all of the necessary chemicals and ingredients in good skincare products. Well, it took some time, four months actually, but I can now log into the Olay website, and my skin is judged to be 10 years younger than my real age – yay success. I thought this success was just my journey and then I started talking to some friends, some my age and some younger and I realised that what I thought was my personal journey was just a case of me being caught up in the latest fad. I thought I had spontaneously found something new and then I realised that I had been sucked in. I'm not sure how or when or by whom but I had been drawn in by whoever or whatever creates the latest fads. 

Was I responding to marketing that I was sublimely seeing or is it some group consciousness? I will probably never know, but my skin looks great, and I have so many new jars and bottles of 'stuff' to try it will keep me amused for a while.

Here are my picks of YouTube channels for women over 35 years. I have spent many hours searching for exciting and relevant advice for mature skin. Lots of channels show very, very young attractive, women advising about minimising wrinkles and how to treat under-eye bags! 

If you are interested here are my recommendations, all of these channels offer quality advice and are YouTubers with relevant information about mature skincare.

Nadine Baggott - great skincare and makeup advice.

Lisa Eldridge - fabulous makeup advice some skincare.

Pampered Wolf - good skincare and makeup advice - she sometimes includes her Mum in her VIdeos - Mum is 60+

Caroline Hirons - no-nonsense skincare and makeup advice.

Gothamista - very knowledgeable skin-care advice.